Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri 1432H

Wednesday, 31/08/2011
2.30 pm


Hello ^^

Today is the 2nd day that we Muslims celebrate Eid.
2nd day and I'm already 'imprisoned' myself in my home.huhu
Typical me...

I don't know why I reject strongly to mixing with people.
Relatives, friends..
I prefer to be on my own, doing pretty much nothing than going out, bonding with those around me.
It's funny.
I'd always end up thinking about Ohno when I touch this matter.
I can't help it.
argggggg!!
I keep thinking that we are sort of similar.
So why does he receive so much love from people around him when I do not???

Remember Nadya, remember.
He's not like you, and you're not like him.
He's gentle and considerate.
You're not.
Yes, he may likes to spend time on his own. But he also spend times with his friends.
His tsuri friend, his raji-tomo..
See?? He's adorable that way.
That's why he is loved by those who him.
You're not like him.
That's why you're not loved by those around you..

LOL at me almost shedding tears writing this.
Blame it on Ashita no Kioku playing on my phone right now.
It's a sad song, somehow...

It's 2.45 pm.
And I don't think I'll be going anywhere this day.
Somehow it's comforting.
Knowing that people forget me because I choose to keep a distance.
I'll only have myself to blame for it. Because I choose to, not because they hate me.
It's a bit mental, I know that.huhu
I guess I'm afraid of getting close to people.
I suck at that..
I'd tried to overcome that, I'd tried really hard to get close.
But at the end of the day I'd just get tired.
It's tiresome..At least for me..

Jaa, babai...

Hi^^

Ah, I lied again eh?
I haven't been writing as much as I said I would.
Anyway, I've moved to new division. Finance division.
I thought this would bring new wind of change.
What do you know, I'm still the same old me.
The one who procrastinate a lot.
The one who hates her job.
The one who is cursed with low self-esteem.
So yeah, I'm pathetic..!
How did it turn so gloomy?
I though about writing something happy...:(
Only Ohno Satoshi can make feel cheery.
That is to some extent..

If I think about wanting to be like him, then I'd be really down.
If I saw his face - preferably in tv screen, alive and kicking -I'd be love-struck to maximum level.
There's no way you can hate that chubby-cheek adorable old man.
NO WAY!
He's too cute to be hated...
Cute old man, I envy you Y_Y

Working is like HELL for me!!

SOOOOOOOOOOO,
why do I hate work so much?
Am I that negative that I hate everythig, EVERYTHING?
Stupid office with its ,okay I'm going to be rational, impossible staffs!
Damn it!!!!!
I hate it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Stupid, stupid,stupid!!!
Just listening to the voices outside makes me want to strangle each and every one of them!!
STUPID!!!!!!!!!

-----------------------------
Feb 6th

What the hell??!! *point above*

I must have really lost my mind that day.
I don't even remember why I was so pissed off that day..
I really don't remember!
It's like the weirdest emotional explosion I've ever experienced. It must be VERY weird that I completely forgot what it was about..hmmm

I really only post when I'm at office..

Hi..

I am demotivated again.
What's with me being so lazy, so unmotivated when it comes to my job?
What is it that I look for in my life?
What di I want to do with my life..?
I don't know, I really don't know...

It seems like I'll only post when I'm at office!

Hi ^^



I only post when I'm at office ne.huhu
I can't help it yo!
Being at office is boring, BORING I tell you!
Talking about having no motivation to do my works kind of reminds me to my friend, I.
She would usually cheers me to have motivation to go to work.huhu
Today too, when I sms her saying that I have no motivation, she said something.
Soething like I should be getting myself a 'special' friend a.k.a boyfriend!
LOL, I will not do that!
It's not that I don't believe in love, it's just that I feel like I'm not worthy of it.
The 'me' right not do not deserve it.
Maybe one day, when I feel like I'm worthy of someone's affection thn I'll be looking for one :P

A lot of my friends are either getting married or engaged.
I don't feel envious, in fact I'm happy for them.
It does feel weird, though.
Because when I tried imagining myself in their place, I feel like I would fail it.Totally.
What if I am not meant to have family Y_Y
I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone!!
Yep, I'm getting older.
These days I can't help but keep on thinking about marriage etc etc.
I don't want it now, I'm soooo NOt ready for it now.
I'm too selfish to share my life with someone else..

It's already 2011!

Hi ^^,





Happy New Year!


Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu!!





It's been days since I last wrote.


I pretty much forgot recent happenings ~fufu


Owh, we got that damned 5S thing.Thank God!


huhu


Em, what else..


Owh, the other day I was almost involved in an accident yo!


It was entirely my fault.


I kind of spaced out for a moment, got distracted by one pak cik that took the wrong turn.


I was saying to myself " Ui Pak cik. You can't go there.It's one way route la"


And that moment the traffic light turned red.


I saw the many motorcycles started moving, but my spaced out brain was very slow picking it up.


Instead I went " Why are they moving already..?"


I saw the many vehicles started moving, instead of hitting the brakes, I went faster..


It's not until some kind (or maybe angry) souls honked did my brain started functioning again and hit hard on the brake..huhu


I'm very dangerous when I'm spaced out.


That day I was very spaced out though. I didn't even remember why..





Oh, my crazy online-manga-reading antic is back!


I've been staying up late until 5.30 a.m in the morning for 2 consecutive nights!


hoho


Can't blame myself for that.


I've been looking for online Muhyo to Rouji ep 34 adn above for as long as I remember.


Eh wait..What make me start searching for the series again?


Something reminded me of that series, but I couldn't remember what it was called.


So surfed the many manga sites and started to look in the 'M' list. somehow I remembered it started with 'M'. hoho


After I found the title, I started to look for ep 34.


Then I found it in Mangahere.My long-awaited ep.34 is there. ep. 34 up to ep. 126!


Being the enthusiastic manga-freak that I am, I read it all to my heart's content! ehehe



Though what pisses me now is the fact that it stoppe at ep.126 when there are 156 of it.



Where the heck can I find the rest?!!! *is very pissed*

------
I didn't post this before because I want to add something, but I forgot what! huhu

So I'll just post it as it is ^^

Babai

Can I say I understand how Ohno feels?

Hi again ^^,



Can I say I understand what Ohno feels most of the time?

The feeling of having people pour their feelings to you, but you don't know how to respond to it..?

I had my friend pouring her frustation towards her staffs just now.

I listened to her but I really don't know what to say to ease her..!

This reminded me of what Aiba said about confiding in his Riida.

He said that most of the time Ohno listened without saying anything, so much so that he suscpected if Ohno was listening at all!

If Ohno is in the same situation as ine, then I understand exactly how he felt.

We listened, of course we listened.

But we don't know how to respond!!
------------------------------------

That wa yesterday.
Today I am feeling sleepy. So like Ohno eh,hehe.
I can't help but include him in almost every post I made :P
I can't help it since I am so desperately 'in love' with him.haha
I mean, look at him. That cute oji-san is too adorable for my weak heart!
Not to mention him being multi-talented.
He may not be as bright as Sho or as sharp as Nino and Matsujun, however he is a genius in his own way.
He is a genius in his art and his dance choreography.
It is the same way as Shakespear being a genius in literature.
So there you have it.
The genius Satoshi who can be cute, masculine, sexy and female-like pretty.
It's true yo!
Look at him during his Maou days, or any period where he kept his hair long and black.
I kind of understand why he doesn't like long hair.
Because he looked very pretty like a woman!haha
That and of course he hated the feeling of hair brushing his nape and forehead.fufu
Not to mention it's hot too.
LOL at me!
Look what have you done to me cute old man.
I end up memorising every little things you mention!
I envy te way he can come out with single line that makes everyone laugh.
I guess he really is a gentle person with 'wild' passion.Opps, remember the 2008 scandal?
I refuse to believe it, but deep down inside I knew that it carried some truth in it.
My cute, spaced-out oji-san is a very 'active' and 'wild' person!
haha

Enough ofmy stupid rambling.
I am just killing some time before the 5s auditor comes to our section.
All of us can't seem to be able to do any job!haha

Babai